Me and My Big Mouth

New site

2007-06-16T03:02:00.001-07:00

The new site is http://zaren.multiply.com/

Letting Go...

2007-06-15T23:15:00.001-07:00

As I would always say....it would be very difficult to hold on to a hand that pushes you away. I am collapsing this blog to give way to a new one. To a new life. And finally let go of the previous life I have been trying to stick to. It is hard to be kind to someone who is cruel. It is far more difficult to be warm with someone who is cold with you.

Thank you very much to all those who have stay tuned to this blog. IF THERE WERE ANY.

A new one coming up and I shall be posting it here. But it may take time to pick up the pieces and start anew. But I am sure it will be better.

Numb

2007-05-22T13:10:00.000-07:00

It's been a long time, I know.

I am not keeping my words, I know.

And no, I do not have a new blog that's why I can't update this blog. I was just quite busy the past few days...weeks...month

A poetry I wrote out of depression....

I can't breathe
Strangled by the chains around my neck
I can't move
My feet are tied to the ground
I can't shout
My tongue is tied up
I can't hear
My ears are covered
I can't see
I am blinded by my faith
That things will get better and brighter
I don't feel anything
I am numb

Ruins under construction

2007-01-07T04:42:00.000-08:00

Yes, I have been incapable of doing something productive in this blog for months. In life, sometimes you have to dismantle and clear up everything to start anew. Mine starts now. The new blog will rise in a couple of days. Please stay tuned.

Pictures from Belgium

2006-09-10T13:11:00.000-07:00

Hi Guys!!!
Long time no update (yun ang sabi ng aking kaibigang sobra ko nang namimisss...si Can!)

Kaya eto, pix from our trip to Belgium.

http://zaren.multiply.com/photos/album/18

And I am back....

2006-08-15T11:11:00.000-07:00

After a long hibernation....

Goede avond! Hoe gaat het met you? Alles goede?

Those are the only Dutch words I know right now. I am planning to take my course next week. They say that Dutch is very similar with German language. So with that, I will start with my German lessons too. Hehehe....

Life is a bit boring here. I live in a village where the sun sets by 10 PM and the temperature is typically 15C. Cold. Really cold. I couldn't imagine how it would be by winter. By then, I might be in the Philippines for a short vacation.

I have started biking here in Netherlands. However, I don't have my own bike yet. I plan on buying once I get my euros. I also plan to buy a DSLR. To learn photography. And nope, I am not going to take nude pictures, noh!

A lot of things have been realized the past few weeks...

....that Philippines is waaaaay to far from where I am right now
.....that there is a lot to learn in FA....
....that it must be lonely being in a place where people would speak a language that is not familiar to you...
.....that friends are soooo far away when you need them....
.....and that it is hard to converse with a dutch when he doesn't speak english ( and i dont speak dutch!)

cute ng background video noh? medyo hawig ko ng konti..hehehe... kaya ko nga kinuha eh

Hibernate

2006-07-28T10:16:00.000-07:00

I will hibernate for the meantime. Just don't feel well today.
I feel like drinking German beer today. ASJ and I got one case of Radler.

Just Feel Better
Santana/Aerosmith

She said I feel stranded
And I can't tell anymore
If I'm coming or I'm going
It's not how I planned it
I've got a key to the door
But it just won't open

And I know, I know, I know
Part of me says let it go
That life happens for a reason
I don't, I don't, I don't
Because it never worked before
But this time, this time

I'm gonna try anything to just feel better
Tell me what to do
You know I can't see through the haze around me
And I do anything to just feel better

And I can't find my way
Girl I need a change
And I do anything to just feel better
Any little thing that just feel better

She said I need you to hold me
I'm a little far from the shore
And I'm afraid of sinking
You're the only one who knows me
And who doesn't ignore
That my soul is weeping

I know, I know, I know
Part of me says let it go
Everything must have a season
Round and round it goes
And every day's the one before
But this time, this time

I'm gonna try anything that just feels better
Tell me what to do
You know I can't see through the haze around me
And I do anything to just feel better

I can't find my way
God I need a change
And I'd do anything to just feel better
Any little thing that just feel better

I'm tired of holding on
To all the things I ought to leave behind, yeah
It's really getting old, and
I think I need a little help this time!

Yeah

[Guitar solo]

I'm gonna try anything to just feel better
Tell me what to do
You know I can't see through the haze around me
And I do anything to just feel better

And I can't find my way
God I need a change
And I do anything to just feel better
Any little thing that just feel better

Perfect relationship from an Electronics Engineer's Point of VIew

2006-07-27T11:41:00.000-07:00

If I were to model a perfect relationship thru transistors, ICs and passive devices here is what I propose:

Isn't she lovely

2006-07-26T11:08:00.000-07:00

Last June 27, my sister-in-law gave birth to a beautiful bouncing baby girl. We call her Julia Francesca.

I miss my niece....

Me, Myself and Nijmegen

2006-07-24T13:30:00.000-07:00

Last Saturday while contemplating, I realized that I have been in Netherlands for a week. Whew! It feels like a lifetime already.

Last friday, July 14, was my flight to Nijmegen, Netherlands. A very good friend drove me to the airport. It was quite difficult to accept that I will be leaving and so for the past days and months, I never thought about the idea of me finally moving in to a different country. So when that day came, I have to bear everything...all the pain and fear of being alone. Foreseeing that this will happen, God gave me a push. I was about to question him already about his plans for me and why he sent me to Europe when suddenly, I was in the immigration line, the immigration officer checked thoroughly my papers (and i mean THOROUGHLY) and asked me of my purpose to stay in Holland. With pride, I told her " I shall be employed there" and I will move in as a knowledge immigrant. Suddenly she asked me about papers and stickers and organizations I have never heard off. Suddenly, I felt perspiration ran over my head. I have totally forgotten about asking God why he is going to send me to Europe. I suddenly thought " God, why are you doing this?". Then I realized...maybe this is his way of letting me realize and appreciate what I have. And surely, I did. And since then, I learned to accept my fate, Europe that is.

For those who are wondering, yes, I made it. Magaling mambola ang lola eh. Har Har Har!

Thank you very much for those who remembered and sent me a message before I left. I managed to call a few of them though. Sa iba, pasensya na po. Mahirap palang pigilan ang pag-iyak.

I came to Netherlands safely. Aileen gurrrl is my housemate. She used to be my colleague back in ADI. I was never a crybaby, but for a week (until now), I have been trying to keep my self from being lonely. I look at pictures of my friends and family but the more I stare at them, the more I miss home and my friends. Lungkot noh? Well, everything happens for a reason. And I know I am doing this for a purpose.

Last weekend was not quite a good one and I don't know why. We went to amsterdam and I was able to see former ADI colleagues. It was fun but the rain made me think about things. Drama ko noh? Hehehe.

I spent the night alone since ASJ went to party with her filipino friends here in Netherlands. I just stayed at home, feeling that it would be better that way for the meantime.

Below are pictures taken when I first came to Holland and during the Amsterdam tour:

Our Sala

Me and ASJ (my eyes seem sad di ba?)

Me, Rey and Elanie at a cafe at Amsterdam

Me at Amsterdam

Windmills!!!

Malalim na iniisip

When you're alone and you feel like crying

2006-07-23T08:53:00.000-07:00

Ola!!!!!

Behold, my blog is now revived!!!! Thanks to my deep loneliness, I was able to find time to rejuvinate this dead blog.

Yes I am lonely for a couple of reasons which I don't plan to tell any of my blog viewers (as if I have). How I have wanted to try some of those happy brownies just to feel good.

Well, well. But I don't want to take happy brownies so I just cry and shed those tears once in a while. Para akong baliw. Hehe. Baliw naman talaga ako.

Next post please...

LoSinG My RAy-BAn

2005-11-09T06:21:00.000-08:00

Maybe it's because I started my day late. Maybe it's because I tried to deviate from my old routine and requested the taxi to pick me up by 8 AM. Maybe it's because I started the day unenthusiastic.
Unlike my normal days where I go to PG6 (my building in Malaysia), I went to PG4 instead for a white paper presentation. It should start by 8:30 AM so while waiting for the meeting, I decided to drop by the cafeteria to get something to eat for breakfast. As expected, I saw my engineering counterpart at the cafeteria as well.
Well, the story did not start there. It started 2 hours after that when I came back to PG6 and discovered that the left pocket of my backpack is open. It is not ordinary for me to see my bag pocket open, as I normally check them whenever I bring my bag. The first thing I noticed upon seeing the open pocket is that it's empty. Oh no. My ray-ban sunglasses!!!!!!!!!!!
Yup, that is where I usually put my shades for easy accessibility. And yes, the glasses I am referring to are the ones you've seen in the photo below. It's not even 3 months old and it's gone!!!
The first thing that came to my mind : "shit".
I looked around and traced my path from the shuttle pick up station up to the office. No traces of the black ray-ban case. I told my officemate about it and he joked "Les, para ka na ring natalo sa casino ng 300 Ringgit nun"...
Apparently, this officemate of mine felt bad upon losing 100RM during our vacation at the Genting Casino. Mind you, I won 50RM :) It's just a matter of getting contented with what you have, you know :)
Well, honestly I was kinda irritated with the joke because I know it's true. My 300RM was gone so fast. If I only knew it was going to happen, I could have worn it even when I sleep.
My officemate suggested that I contact Security Office to report my lost glasses. But being the pessimistic person that I am, I just replied "Wag na, impossible naman may magbalik nun. Saka what if ninakaw yun?"
That moment, I accepted that fact that I lost my ray-ban. It's the typical me. I did not give it a fight. But after a lot of thinking (which is about 3 minutes), I decided to go back to PG4 and look for my lost sunglasses. On the way to PG4, I was thinking what wrong have I done. I always take care of my sunglasses. In fact, I always check it and make sure that it wont get damaged not lost. Why did this happen? It even came to a point where I asked God " Lord, why is it that the ones that I hold valuable, you take away from me?" Why not take away something else?
Bakit kung ano pa yung importante at mahalaga, yun pa talaga ang nawawala? Is this Karma?
Because I think I have never neglected my sunglasses. Sometimes it's really disappointing to find out that even after all that you did, you still lose. Big time.
I went to PG4 and to the conference room. But no traces of my sunglasses. 10% hope left. I was about to go back to PG6 when I thought about going to the cafeteria. Nah...it couldn't be there. Besides, it's full of people. If ever I left it there, somebody else would probably take it.
I saw someone I know in the cafeteria and asked him where is the security office. He asked me why I am going there and I said that I lost my sunglasses.
"Is it in a black pouch?", he said.
"Oh yes yes yes!!!!", out of excitement, I said.
He pointed to the direction of the guy who happens to be sitting in the same place I sat during breakfast. My hope rose from 10% to 99% (come on, you can never be so sure...).
I immediately went to the place and saw my sunglasses. The guy holding it said "you owe me for this. How could you even care to let go of such a beautiful pair of glasses?"
I said, "well, you don't know I am almost crying on my way here"
Just a simple ray-ban taught me so many lessons today:
1. Never say never without even trying. I was almost to give up upon knowing that the possibility that I can find my glasses is low. But still, I tried. I am glad I tried.
2. I no longer believe in what most people say that "kung sayo, sa yo talaga. you don't have to look for it. it will come to you." If I believed in that, would I be able to get my glasses back? No. Di naman lumalakad ang glasses. And if ever someone finds it and would like to return it, it doesn't have my name so di rin nya maisosoli. The only way is for me to look for it.
3. Appreciate it while it's there. What if I never find my sunglasses? Sayang di ba? Iisipin ko, sana ginamit ko na lang sya. The same thing with life. Never expect things will always be there. As a friend would say, nothing lasts forever. Kaya ako starting now, I will try to appreciate all that is important to me. For i never know when I will lose them.
4. I realized that this experience could also give me a hint that I am getting lost. With God. For the past months (many months), I have lost touch with him. And this morning, I even blamed him for losing all that I hold valuable. Tama ba yun? Hindi.
5. And lastly, when it is important to you, fight to have it. Don't just let it slip away and accept the fact you lost it. Dahil kung ginawa ko yun kanina, malamang di ko na nakita yung shades ko.
Make it happen. Do it.

2005-10-09T01:54:00.000-07:00

I bought my new Ray-ban...bagay ba? My folks here told me i look slimmer in the shades...
am i slimming down already?
can't wait to go home...
and eat isaw
....pig-out on the mongkok dimsum
and drink starbucks
but then again..
NAKA SOUTBEACH DIET AKO!!!!

50 First Dates

2005-10-08T07:18:00.000-07:00

I got this song from 50 First Dates which I happen to be watching while talking to a friend in the YM. I just realized, it must have been difficult to love someone and the next day, he/she doesn't remember you anymore...
pero mas mahirap siguro yung piliting lumimot....tama ba mryosa? :P
salamat sa pakikipagtsismisan.

anyways, im glad to announce that i have lost a total of 10 lbs in 2 weeks!!! Thank you southbeach diet, gym and depression! Nakakalungkot talaga mag-isa...oh well,
i have a favorite blog to read na basahin ko pa lang natatawa na ako... im sure alam ng mga cube 5 groupmates ko yun...este ex-groupmates...

di pa rin ako makatulog. its already 1 AM. I am getting myself busy with the test program study. hay life...how boring!

Who's gonna tell you when
It's too late
Who's gonna tell you things
Aren't so great
You can't go on
Thinking nothing's wrong
Who's gonna drive you home tonight
Who's gonna pick you up
When you fall
Who's gonna hang it up
When you call
Who's gonna pay attention
To your dreams
Who's gonna plug their ears
When you scream
You can't go on
Thinking nothing's wrong
Who's gonna drive you home tonight
Who's gonna hold you down
When you shake
Who's gonna come around
When you break
You can't go on
Thinking nothing's wrong
Who's gonna drive you home tonight

NaBuhAy ang TuLog

2005-10-03T06:44:00.000-07:00

Due to a major public demand, I am going to post in this blog. It's been a while. I dunno what's got into me but I don't know why I don't have the drive to write. Maybe because I have nothing much to write right now.

By the way, for those of you who don't know, I am not in the Philippines right now. I am somewhere in Malaysia, parang sundalo na pinadala ng kanyang kumander sa gyera. What can I say about this place? Hmm. It's great. But it could have been more beautiful if you have someone to share it with, right?

Fortunately (or unfortunately should I say ?!?!), I live in a single fully airconditiononed unit with three bedrooms, two rest rooms, laundry room, kitchen and living room plus dining room. The master's bedroom alone is just as big as the current unit I am renting in Mandaluyong, would you believe?

I must say it's quite lonely being alone....kitang kita naman dito sa picture di ba?

Sobrang sad ko di ba? hayy....wawa naman.... (by the way, thats the Petronas Tower, the 2nd highest building in the world and the tallest among twin structures).

Sometimes I feel so helpless and restless. I dunno what to do..So I get my self busy with other things...

Like this one ^^^^ anyone care for a pee?

Honestly, for a couple of years i have been wanting to go out of the country on a permanent basis. But just recently, I realized that what I wanted, I already have. In my own country. :-)

MaRuNOng Pa Ke YoDA

2005-08-21T19:53:00.000-07:00

ThE KiliKiLi Dialogues

2005-08-15T19:07:00.000-07:00

I don't think its me. I am sure its not me. Somebody's Stinking!
Naknamputsa, hanimalllliiiiiistic na kilikili yon!
I am sure it's not me kasi when I move to a different place, it goes away. Besides, kung ako yun, di ba dapat I shouldn't be smelling my self?
It smells like a vinegar mixed with guava. It is so acidic just the mere smell of it gives me ulcers!
I have been smelling this since yesterday. Walang sinabi ang cologne ko. Halos dasalan ko na ang cube ko kasi baka may masamang espiritu pero walang japeks!
These are one of those times na i wish may facial mask ako or may sipon ako! Matindi talaga sya as in amoy na amoy ko now...somebody please! give me amonia! I am going to faint! HaaaYayYYYY...
Could it be my cube mate? Well, I dont think so. I am sure di sya yun kasi wala sya kahapon dahil may sakit sya?
Eh kaming 2 lang dito eh!!!
I guess its from the other cube. Tinde! Long distance..
I wonder if I am the only one smelling it...
Gusto ko tuloy kumanta ng ...
Lets do the funk
Lets do the first day funk

I can SeE ClEArLY NoW

2005-08-11T15:18:00.000-07:00

I can see clearly now
the rain has gone
I can see all obstacles in my way
Gone are the dark clouds
that had me blind

It's going to be a bright,
bright sunshiny day

I think I can make it now
the pain has gone
And all of the bad feelings
have disappeared

Here is the rainbow
I've been praying for
It's gonna be a bright,
bright sunshiny day

Look all around there's nothing
but blue skies
Look straight ahead nothing
but blue skies

I think I can make it
now the pain has gone
And all of the bad feelings
have disappeared
I can see clearly now
the rain has gone
It's gonna be a bright,
bright Sunshiny day

After the rain, there is always a sunshine...a rainbow. Yesterday and the day before was probably my most dreaded moment. But I was able to face all of them. With HIS help. Nothing could be more powerful than a prayer. Than calmness. Sometimes, we let our anger crowd our own judgements. We let anger take over and destroy us. I am not going to let anger consume me anymore.

For those who were puzzled by the weird post yesterday, I am not going to remove it. I am not going to take it off as some people would probably do to cover up for something. I am just human. And being human, I have emotions too. You can always see me happy and joking and playing around with people, making them laugh, but I, too, have my own issues. And sometimes, I also need someone, or should i say, some people, to make me smile.

Last night before I went to sleep ( actually i dozed off), my life flashed in front of me. My friends. My family. My barkadings. My blockmates. My high school friends. My playmates (and i really mean playmates) when I was just in kindergarten. Sometimes, I think that it must be really great to remain a child. But since I can't, I guess I should just remain a child at heart.

But this morning, I woke up to reality: I have work to do. Lots of them. Next week I have to leave for Malaysia for a couple of months. I don't know if I will like it there but I guess I will just make the best out of my stay. It will buy me off some time so I could get to finish my thesis and write three technical papers as well.

When I come to think of it, I should be happy. Despite the problems in my life, I have friends beside me. I might not be able to keep in touch with them but I know in my heart that they would still be friends. I guess I will be visiting them all today. In their blogs. :-)

Life has to go on. I will start anew. No grudges. No pain. Just a smile in my heart. :-)

ThE BloG

2005-08-10T15:21:00.000-07:00

I have read something that I didn't like. Something that I didn't expect. But at least now i know the truth. The truth hurts...but only for a while. I just hope some people believed in KARMA...
How would you feel about a lie that's been going on for so long? I pity myself. But then i stopped. I guess I should pity you more.

I guess I am tired of the old stories. The old dramas.

There are some things I have learned:

1. The truth shall come out.

2. Never try to make other people look bad by getting others to pity you because when they find out who you really are beneath the covers...lagot!

3. Nakakapagod din pala magpatawad. Mas nakakapagod magmukhang tanga.

4. Friends come in handy. I am glad I keep lots of them.

5. You might be able to fool them today. But they will find it out someday...

This is the last time I will speak like this and the last time i will be bitter like this.
Nakakainis.
Gusto ko mangigil.
Next time magdedevice ako ng sumasabog na blog.
Or maybe....pwede ring ako ang magpasabog! mwahahahaha!!!!! *evilgrin*

Nokia 3230, Motorola V3, Samsung D500 o Ericsson K750i?

2005-07-18T20:40:00.000-07:00

ei GuYs! I nEEd your HelP!
I might be buying a cellular phone within the week. Now, I need your inputs on which phone to buy. I am planning to get a new line. So the pricing will be as follows:
Nokia 3230: 8k
Motorola V3:7k
Ericsson K750j: 12.5K
Samsung D500: 13k

just type the model number under Google. For your votes, please put a comment to this message. salamas.

MiXeD EmOTiOns

2005-06-16T20:38:00.000-07:00

I feel warmth
I feel coldness
I feel hope
I feel loneliness
I feel tired
I feel empty
I feel loved
I feel crazy
I feel hungry
I feel thirsty
I feel pain
I feel horror
I feel excitement
I feel regret
I feel happiness
I feel sorrow
I feel redemption
I feel failure
I feel ecstasy
I feel danger
I feel freedom
I feel alone
I feel wanted
I feel wanting to be wanted
I feel poetic
I feel static
I feel nothing
I feel numb.

WoRkInG aT hOMe

2005-06-08T19:59:00.000-07:00

Hmm...Am back again. Miss me? Ehehe. Well, its me and my big mouth (with infections) again. Yup, you heard err...i mean, you read it right! I have a viral infection and it has affected my mouth, well, strictly speaking, my throat. As the doctor diagnosed, I have acute viral tonsilopharyngitis and conjunctivitis.

Dear, wala na bang ihahaba yang diagnosis na yan?!?!$*#$$)%)(*. I can hardly say it! My throat is like the house of the dead...you wouldnt want to see it. Both my tonsils are so swollen, they almost touch each other! No wonder I've been having 40C fever for days. Thanks to my bestfriend for taking care of me and for my friends and family who never stopped praying for me.

However, I am still sick. Right now I am working from home. I attended the phone conference yesterday and I wonder if the guys from Malaysia and from Taiwan can hear the roar of the tricycles and the barking of our 3 powerful dogs. Not to mention the call waiting beep. Hehehe..

I have been wearing this fossil eyeglass I got from Subic. I feel like a superhero....hmm....Cyclops? hehehe...Well, I feel more like Yak (you know mighty man and yak?) except that I have the eyeglass instead of the house.

Huhmmmmmm BACKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!

2005-04-13T16:23:00.000-07:00

Halleritas!!!! The big mama’s mouth is freaking back!!!

Such a long time since I last posted. My apologies to my millions of fans (real and imaginary) who were not able to read thru my blog. Andito na ako. Abuse me!

Hay, how do I start a very long story? Of course I start from the beginning. Mga ungas! Last March 14, I started my journey towards a path of animosity (natural baguhan ako eh). Dito sa *****. I must admit, it was not as easy as when I was young. I remember nung bata ako I would approach each new kid on the block and say “hi im lesly, what’s your name?” Now it’s not that easy. Baka umbagan ako ng tatanungin ko. I just stayed silent until somebody smiled at me. Nice. My first friend. Yun pala may itatanong lang. Nyorks. After that, he became my seatmate and I was able to chit chat with him the whole day. The next day he is gone. And he never came back. Duhh. What happened to my NEO mate? Later on I found out from another NEO mate that he had problems during his application that’s why he suddenly disappeared.

When I moved to ***** I thought that my image would change into a very sophisticated lady. Wala. Asa pa. Darn. I don’t know but they still see me the way those former officemates of mine still see me. Makapal ang mukha. Di naman ha? Di raw ako nahihiya magtanong. So what? Eh curious ako sa benefits ko eh. Hehehe.

You might be curious kung sino kasabay ko maglunch. Madami. Samut sari. Di ko nga lang kilala. Hehehe. In short, basta oorder lang ako then uupo then kakain then tatayo then presto! Tapos na. I am lucky kasi sometimes I would eat lunch with Mr. Yosa’s bestfriend, the one and only gorgeous (next to me) na bibigyan ako ng meal ticket….hehehe….

So ayun. After a week I got deployed na sa department ko. Sa Product Engineering. Cool. The first thing I noticed was that they are wearing headseats. That is because they engage in meetings every now and then. I first got my phone conference on my 2nd day. That was my first blooper day. Of course, when you sign into a bridge connection (phone conference) , you need to identify yourself. Ewan ko ba, natameme ata ako. Upon entering the phone meeting, all that I was able to say is “Hello”… duhh. Dami kasi nilang nagsasalita eh. Nasapawan ako. Nyorks.

Wonder what my second blooper is? Mas matindi to. On the third day, magaling na ako sa phone conference. Kaya lang, just days ago, while in a conference, I thought that I have already pressed the mute button. I was drinking a tall drink (mango juice). And then suddenly “bllllluuuuuurrrrp”. Ooops excuse me. Di pala nakamute. Napatingin sa akin yung katabi ko na kasama ko din sa phone con. Siguro di nya masigurado if he heard that from the phone or he heard it directly from me. Hehehe.

1st day without ADI

2005-03-06T22:32:00.000-08:00

Let me start my story last friday, March 4.

Last friday was my last day in ADI and the start of a new world in *****. Kung bakit di ko masabi kung ano yung ***** , eh akin na yun! Pake nyo ba! hehehe. Well, it was a dramatic friday. I was trying to keep my tears from falling dahil hellleeeer!!! I am no drama queen!!!!

Grabe, they ( i mean my officemates, people from fab transfer and RCSC and the rest of the world) just don't know how hard it took me to say NO to my former company. Uhmm...ang mga malisyosang isip...*tsug* hindi yung iniisip nyo ang di ko matanggihan!!!! Actually, I found it hard to go out of my company because of THE PEOPLE who became so dear to my heart. Honestly, I am missing them all right now.

Nakakamiss yung makikipagkulitan ka sa kanila despite the hectic sched, despite the customer pressures, despite the gory meetings and the " debate ni mare at pare" talks, well...isa lang naman ang nakakadebate ko...(love you sir jojo...este JOJO!!! Agree!Agree!!Agree!!! So ano na gusto mo mangyari? What's your point pakshet!!!! hahaha i bet nagtatawanan na sila eye macel pau hehe at augie neto). Peace tayo Jo! I miss you na talaga.

Nakakamiss yung dating kinalakihan kong office (well actually mas malaki ako when I first got there, lumiit pa nga ako nang lagay na ito). I miss the hallways, the CR, the gym.

And most of all, i miss my PAPAs. Hiyeeeee Papa!!! I wonder if Papa Jeff is still as grumpy as ever (mukang nagtulay na ang dalawa nyang kilay, keber! kamukha pa rin nya si lucky), I wonder if Papa Ramon is still as pogi as ever (nagsasalita na kaya sya ngayong wala ako?)...

At si Papa Ichi, I wonder if he would still dance the robot dance which almost brought the whole group to its fame. Grabe naman kasi eh, daigin ba ang Bee Gees.

I miss cube 5

Macel..sana di pa lagas ang buto mo sa ADWil A.
Pau....sana di pa lagas ipin este ang hair mo sa ADWil A.
Ellen and Augie...hmmm..napuntahan nyo na ba yung...*****...hehehe
Eye...sayang di ko masyado nasakyan si ....ano na nga ba pangalan nung ano mo? yung ano...yung ano...dra ano..hehehe ang hirap baka di ko pwede banggitin.

Karl...siguro ang payat mo na ngayon..hehehe peace! love you

Jojo....i cant wait for the next battle...

Lyn...musta na ang Star Customer Quality Reliabity Teen Quest? hehehe Duhhh...

Can...mamimiss ko ang pagkain-kain natin dyan. Hehehe. Papayat ka na...lagot...

Hay nako. Kabore pala yung mag isa ka lang. Sana mag start na ako sa *****......

MaTh Sa PerYA

2005-03-02T17:34:00.000-08:00

Last weekend, I went to Zambales with my bestfriend Can. Fiesta kasi dun eh. As usual kumain na naman ako ng lato at ng sapsapuyo. Last saturday night was the first time I ever went to a "perya". And mind you, it was sooooooo crowded I was afraid that there might be pickpockets in the area. We went from the popcorn stand to the place where people would place their bets. Ang daming varieties. Nakakaaliw.
Syempre nagbet din kami. And it was our first time. Here is the scenario:

There are six different cards on the table. There is a funnel directly on top of it. The one betting will throw the pingpong ball through the funnel at kung saan tumapat yung bola, yun ang panalo. You can bet from 1 peso to 100 pesos. If you bet 1 peso and you win, you will get 5 pesos. If you bet 100, you will get 500. So basically, it is 5 times the amount you bet. Examining the table where you have six card to bet on, I figured out that If I try to bet on four out of six cards, (4/6), then my chances of winning is 2/3!

Ano ibig sabihin nito?

Simple lang. If I bet on 4 out of 6 cards, I have a higher probability of winning. So pag nagbet ako ng tig-1 peso on each 4 cards, I will be spending 4 pesos. But if I win, I will be getting 5 pesos. That gives me 1 peso "tubo". The same way, if I bet 2 pesos on each of th 4 cards, I will be spending 8 pesos. But if I win, I will be getting 2 *5 = 10 pesos. Hence, If I bet some XX amount of pesos and I win (which has a higher probability than losing), then I will have a "tubo" of XX amount of pesos.

Dry run.

Can and I started betting using 1 peso for each of the 4 cards. And yes, we won. So we got 1 peso. We tried to bet 2 pesos for each of the 4 cards. And we won again. So we got 2 pesos. Syempre pataas ng pataas yung bet. We were so happy then because we almost got 120 pesos! At medyo naiinis na yung nagpapalaro sa perya.

Then we finally bet on 25 pesos for each of the 4 cards. Syempre nyerbyos kami. Oh well. Since there is a 2/3 chance of winning, there is a 1/3 chance of losing. At yun na! We failed. Shempre napa-"yes" yung mga nagpapalaro sa perya. Hehehe.

So we ended up winning 20 pesos.

At least the math works. =)

PaCkinG uP

2005-02-28T23:43:00.000-08:00

Napansin ko lang...hmm... sobrang serious ata ng mga previous posts ko. Parang di ako. Hehehe.

Oh well, nasa kwela ang moda ko ngayon kahit na may kalungkutan akong nadarama na di ko malaman kung saan nanggagaling..(baka di lang ako natatae ng matagal tagal)....

Ayun, nag-eempake na nga po ako dahil ako ay....tsaraaaaaannn...aalis na sa kumpanya ko ngayon. Sa totoo lang nalulungkot akong isipin na di na ako makakapetiks, di na makakaYM, di na masyadong makakablog...

Pag naiisip ko, ang dami ko rin palang mamimiss dito sa kumpanya ko...
...ang cube 5...yung mga bloopers at walang hanggang tawanan...
...ang rcsc at ang mga pasawaying debate with jojo...
....mamimiss ko yung mga tech at operators...
...yung mga fab transfer group people at mga friends ko sa test...
...yung mga coordinator....
....yung mga sekyu.....'hello papa'.....
...nakakamiss ang kape ni ringgo at ang pakikipaglandian kay christian...
....mamimiss ko yung kamukha ni maam gev na kahera na sobrang mali-mali.
.....nakakamiss yung CR namin na kung hindi puno ng mahahabang buhok ng kung sino man, ay amoy jebakers from outer space...
...mamimiss ko yung kaherang tinarayan ko dati dahil hinihingan nya ako ng 5 pesos eh hello!!! ako pa ang may sukle!!! by the way, lady guard na sya ngayon...
....mamimiss ko yung jologs lane
.....mamimiss ko yung bestfriend kong si Can (haller as if naman di ko kasama sa bahay...duhhh)
.....mamimiss ko ang tres marias....at ang sandamakmak na bloopers....
....mamimiss ko yung clinic na lagi akong suki...yung mga naggagandahang mga nurses na kasing ganda ko..hehehe...
....mamimiss ko sila gurl...sila gurrl...at sila guuuurrrrl...dami kasi nila eh...
.....naku mamimiss ko din ang mga papables ko!!! si papa ramon..si papa ichi...si papa jeff...si papa jeff..si papa jeff...teka..
...mamimiss ko ang pingpong, ang gym, ang badminton...
...mamimiss ko si Jerry, si Ryan, si Chris, si Bob, si Andrew...
.....syet mamimiss ko ang kakulitan ni Sabine...
..Mamimiss ko ang ADWil team A...
....mamimiss ko si Ate Star...

ang dami ko rin palang naging friends dito sa kumpanya kong ito. mula sa mga masusungit na coordinator (na nadiscover kong di naman pala masungit..sus...lambing lang kasi yan....) hanggang sa mahiyain na mga engineers....

marami rami na rin akong naokray dito. siguro yung iba gusto na lang ako saksakin sa likod. hehehe...

ang daming magandang memories...sobrang ganda. pero ganun talaga, i have to move on...sana palarin ako sa susunod na adventures ko sa *****. Clue: katabi lang sya ng company ko ngayon. Hehehe.

kanina nag-eempake ako. ang daming basura. ang daming ebubot. pero di ko maitapon. kasi yun ang nagsisilbing paalala ng isang magandang samahan na nabuo sa apat na sulong ng kumpanya ko. pero keber! tatapon ko pa rin ang datalogs, ang FA reports, ang datasheets....

teka...may nakita ako...
eeeeeEEEEEEEE!!!!! ang taba ko pala dati. well mataba pa rin ngayon. hehehe.

sana di nila ako makalimutan. dapat lang. bah!

a LoVeLEtTer

2005-02-18T23:55:00.000-08:00

To you my everdearest,

It's been a long time since I last saw you...make it six months to be exact. I must admit, I have been really busy these couple of months, but there was never a time that I have totally forgotten you. You are always in my thoughts, in my prayers, wondering where you are, what you are doing, if you are ok and if people have been treating you good.

It's been a long time since I last saw you...but I can still remember the last time I cried because you were leaving. I was not able to accompany you to the airport then because I don't want you to see me shattering in tears. I know that we shall see each other soon so I need not worry.

I might not have spent my whole life with you but you knew me pretty well. I wish I could know you more and spend more time with you. You have been a very important shaping factor of my life and I would like to thank you for the inspiration you gave me. Thank you very much for loving me and giving me your all. I wish I could return the same love that you gave me, or more. You are God's blessing to me and I am so lucky to have you in my life. And for that, I promise to be always be here right by your side till you grow old. You never need to worry for I will take care of you and guide you when your senses falter. I will hold your hand and make sure everything's gonna be alright as long as I am here. I will be here for you and for Mama, for you two are the most precious gifts from God. Happy birthday Papa! All I wish for is a long life for you, for Mama, for my brothers and for me, so that I can still take care of you when you are old. I miss you Papa. We miss you. We hope to see you on April. For Mama's birthday. I want you to know that I love you. That we love you.

Love,
Zaren

Prejudice

2005-01-27T06:35:00.000-08:00

Judge me
though you don't know who I am
Judge me
though you don't know how I feel
Anticipate every move I make
every reaction
every decision
Judge me
though you don't know what's on my head
the pain
that pricks my soul
Judge me
Because I know that's all you can do
but have you tried
to listen to my words,
to look into my eyes,
to feel the pulse in my wrist
and to consider
every reason that I say?
Because inside me
is a person wanting
to be believed in,
longing to be trusted,
dying to be loved,
wishing to be cherished.
So please,
do not judge me.
Stop judging me.

EXpAnD YoUR VocAbulARY..

2005-01-03T17:44:00.000-08:00

1) Contemplate - kulang ang mga pinggan
2) Punctuation - pera para maka-enrol
3) Ice Buko - nagtatanong kung ayos na ang buhok
4) Tenacious - sapatos na pang tennis
5) Calculator - tawagan kita mamaya
6) Devastation - sakayan ng bus
7) Protestant - Tindahan ng prutas
8) Statue - Ikaw ba yan?
9) Tissue - Ikaw nga!
10) Predicate - Pakawalan mo ang pusa
11) Dedicate - Pinatay ang pusa
12) Aspect - Pantusok o pandurog ng yelo
13) Deduct - Ang pato
14) Defeat - Ang paa (ng pato?)
15) Detail - Ang buntot (ng pato?)
16) Deposit - Gripo (Call DIPLOMA if DEPOSIT isleaking)
17) City - Bago mag-utso; A number to follow 6
18) Cattle - Doon nakatila ang Hali at Leyna
19) Persuading - Unang Kasal
20) Depress - Ang nagkasal sa PERSUADING>
22) Defense - Ginamit ng mga pangsulat sa kontrata saPERSUADING
23) It depends - Kainin mo ang bakod
24) Shampoo - Bago mag-labing-isha (11)
25) Delusion - Maluwang (kapag maluwang ang damit, ehDELUSION)
26) Delivery - Walang bayad. Kapag working lunch,eh DELIVERY na angtanghalian
27) Profit - Patunayan mo
28) Balance Sheet - What comes out after eating abalance diet
29) Backlog - bacon saka egg
30) Beehive - magpakatino ka
31) CD-ROM - tingnan mo ang kwarto
32) Debug - ang ipis33) Defrag - ang palaka
34) Defense - ang bakod
35) Defer - ang balahibo
36) Deflate - ang plato
37) Detest - ang eksamin
38) Devalue - 'yon ang susunod sa letrang V
39) Devote - ang boto
40) Dilemma - brownout!, a!
41) Effort - 'dun nagla-land ang efflane
42) Forums - apat na kwarto
43) July - nagsinungaling ka ba?
44) Masturbation - maraming nagugutom, famine baga

I MiSS YoU

2004-12-30T13:39:00.001-08:00

narinig ko lang sa radio this morning and i happen to like this song talaga even yung original:

Thought I heard your voice yesterday
When I turned around to say
That I loved you baby
I realize, it was juss my mind
Played tricks on me

And it seems colder lately at night
And I try to sleep with the lights on
Every time the phone ringsI pray to
God it's you
And I just can't believe
That we're through

I miss you
There's no other way to say it
And I can't deny it
I miss you
It's so easy to see
I miss you and me

Is it turning over this time
Have we really changed our minds about each other's love
All the feelings that we used to share
I refuse to believe
That you don't care

I miss you
There's no other way to say it
And I, and I can't deny it
I miss youIt's so easy to see
I miss you and me

I've got to gather myself as together
I've been through worst kinds of weather
If it's over now
Then I'll be strong
Can't believe that you're gone
I've got to carry over

I miss you
There's no other way to say it
And I, and I can't deny it
I miss you
It's so easy to see
I miss you and me
Oh there's no other way to say it
I can't deny it
I miss you baby
It's so easy to see
I miss you and me
Oh no other way to say it
I miss you baby
There's no other
That you're deprived of me now
That you're deprived of me now
I miss you
Said I can't deny itI, I, I, I miss you baby
It's so easy to seeI miss you and me

VIdeOKE NAAAAA!!!!
teka inantok ako. tulog ulet.

RaNDoM thOUghTS at 4:33 AM

2004-12-30T13:39:00.000-08:00

Weird. I did not sleep early last night and yet I was up by 4:30 and could not sleep. I wish I could always do this every weekday so I wouldn't be late for office. I opened my YM and yahoo! I was lucky to find three friends who do not respond to me.

I had a weird dream. Really weird because i cant remember it. For sure, may mang-aasar na naman jan sa kin ng" di mo pala alam eh, how can it get weird" . Tulad din yan ng dream ko na naputulan ako ng ulo when i was young. When I told this story to my barkadings, they all laughed at me. Sabi nila "eh pano mo nalamang ikaw yun eh pugot ang ulo ". Hallleeeeer! Pilosopohin ba ako. Of course I know! Feeling ko sa dream eh.Kaya ganun din sa naexperience ko kagabi. I feel weird. weird.

When I woke up, nagising ako sa boses ng announcer sa AM radio ng Mama ko. Which is again weird, kasi naman natutulog lang sya!

-----N-----e-----w---------Y-----e-----a-----r---------------------

Dec 31 na. Ilang oras na lang at iiwan na ako ni 2004.

Maraming bagay ang nangyari sa akin ngayon 2004. Para rin yang 2003 na maraming highlights. Maraming bumago sa aking pagkakatao. At marami ring bagay ang nagbago sa kin physically like tumaba ako. Pakshet. Next year papayat na ako! Teka. Bukas na yun ha?
I bet marami na naman mang-aaway sa kin dahil sa aking eating habit. Don't you worry guys. Kakain ako ok? Basta naman wag lang sa bulaluhan...please!

Sabi nila dapat may new year's resolution ka. Ano kaya ang sa akin?
1. Lessen drinking of coffee.
2. Healthy living. Iwasan ang fats. If possible, magpakavegetarian.
3. Sleep early.
4. Wake up on time.

Achos! Gagawa pa ako ng listahan at mag-iisip eh di ko rin naman masusunod. wag na lang.

Wish ko lang sana happy ang new year ko. Siguro naman kasi I have my friends around me, loving me. Thanks to you my friends!!!

-----D-----A---------O-----N-----E---------------------------------

Heto na naman. Mushy-mushy-han. Since end of the year na, a common question arises:
Have you found THE ONE ?

Yesterdays, I was singing songs on the phone and one of the songs that I remember singing was the song "i finally found someone..someone who knocks me off my feet...i finally found the one who makes me feel complete "

and then napaisip ako...

Have I found the one?

naks..feeling Carrie Bradshaw of SATC . Pansin ko lang, lagi yung sinusulat nya sa kanyang article starts with a question.

Tsk. Pag sinagot ko ito malamang maraming magrereact. hahahaha. Pakshet. Ano kala nyo sa kin, living thing? Pag sinabi kong OO, forever ako tatanungin ng mga friends ko dito. At alam nyong ayaw na ayaw kong pinagtatanong! Pag ayaw sumagot, wag pilitin!

Have i found the one? Eh ano ngayon kung nakita ko na? Bababa ba ang value ng piso? Di naman. Aayos ba lahat ng pasaway? Hindi naman.

Why do people keep asking if you have found the one? Amazingly, marami pa ring tao ang gusto magsettle with only one. Ang sarap naman kasi ng idea na you end up with this ONE person. This person that you truly love and loves you back. Pero sa movies lang nangyayari yon noh!
Although may ibang sinuswerte na they end up with their soulmate.

Soulmate . Yes i believe in one. To me a soulmate is one who has this part of you...that when that person is around, your energy level increases kasi nga the person has a part of you which adds up to your energy. Labo. Basta yun yun. Bagong gising eh. Have i found my soulmate? Yes.

Siguro yang DA ONE na yan, yan yung sinasabi kong MFEO or Made For Each Other . Ang sarap naman isipin na may ginawang tao just for you. Sabi nga ni Olive Oyl :" There's somebody for everybody".

Nasaan yung akin? Naks. Anjan lang siguro yan sa tabi-tabi. Nagkukukot ng kuko. Hehehe.

So to answer the question : Have you found the one ? ...

ang sagot ko ay...

SECRET NA MALUPET!

Wala namang maitutulong sa mundo kung malaman nito na may DA ONE ako o wala eh. Pero sana nga, may DA ONE ako. *muuuuussssshhhhyyyyyy*

-----M---O---R---N---I---N---G------S---I---C---K---N---E---S---S----

ARgggh! Bakit ba ako pinanganak na sipunin?

-----I---Y---A---K---I---N-------------------------------------------------

Why are tears usually linked to sadness? Though may mga ibang naiiyak sa tuwa, bakit ba most of the time, we cry when we are sad or we are hurt? Kung magtanong ako para akong hindi human. Hehehe.

I am the person who doesn't usually cry. Or should I say, err, a person you will never see crying. I envy those people who can bravely cry their hearts out over a mushy movie ending or those who can weep in front of you while telling how they feel.

For somebody like me who is more used to laughing, ome might wonder: Do i cry?

Yes, I do. I weep but not often. And

not often ~ once in a blue moon.

Some people cry to pour emotions. I dont cry because I hate looking pitiful. Mapride kasi. Ayan. Tamaan na ang lahat ng mapride sa mundo. Hehe.

teka..break...

****haaaachooooooo*****

nahatshing ako.

Where were we?

SiMplEng Buhay

2004-12-28T16:36:00.000-08:00

Bakit kaya nung bata ako, AnG simPle Lang Ng BuhAY:

GigiSing sa Umaga, Kakain ng AGAhan, MaNunUod ng SeSamE streET,

PaG di NakuntEnTo, PaTI batibot, PopEye, CareBears, Shaider, BiOmaN,

AsTRoBoy, VolTez FiVE, LoOney Tunes, at pati pEn-pEn dE Sarapen Pinapanuod..

Sa TangHali, kaKaIn Ulet (buti di ako Mahirap pAkainin)..

Tapos NuN, ay syeSTa na.

BakIT ba AnG mga BaTA ayaw na NatuTulog?

KuNG aLaM ko LAng NA gaNITo ang HiRAP ng PagIGIng ADuLT,

SiGURo NatULOg na AKo buOng ArAW nung BatA ako

Sa HaliP na NAgTulugtulUGAn at NAghilik-Hilikan..

(TaKE note:mASTERED ko ata yan, mAy paTirIk-Tirik Pa Ng Mata)

At TapOS magSyesta, Mag-AAbang ng pisbol sa tapat Ng Bahay

o kAYA ng SweET CoRN o BinATOg

HabANG nakikIpaglarO ng hARangang-Taga, pePsi-7-up, TaGUan, Moro-moro

TumBang PresO, Sipa, ToUCH Ball, FoOTball, Touch D ColOR,

MonkEY - MOnkEY, CHiNEse GarteR (whiCH i never PLayed) at kung Ano Pa..

TapoS nun, UuWi sa BaHAy, MagMAmaNO kAy MaMa at Papa

at MagNoNoVEna tuwiNG 6 PM

HabaNG tuMatagal, naGigIng kumPlikado na aNG buhaY

PagDAting ng HigHschOOl, BuoNG arAW na ang klaSE

WalA nanG panAHoN sa LaRO. Pag WeeKEnds na lang.

Lalo nAMan ng CollEge. HalOS di Ko na NakiTa anG dati KoNG mga Kalaro...

Kasi nAMan, yung iba sa kaniLA, may sarili nang mga pamilya...

Lumipas ang mga araw, ang mga buwan at mga taon...

Ang dating makulit na buhay ko ay makulit pa rin sa awa ng Diyos.

Pero marami nang nabago. Ang dating oras sa laro at tulog ay nawala.

Lahat ay napalitan ng mga bagay na ginagawa ng mga ADULTS.

Nagtatrabaho. Nagtatrabaho. At Nagtatrabaho.

Tulad ngayon. Nasa Office ako ngayon.

Dapat nga by now gumagawa na ako ng reports. Pero hindi.

Pwede ba huminto muna ang pormal kong buhay at ibalik sa dati kong nakagisnan?

Sana ang buhay ay simple lang. Kasi simple lang naman akong tao.

Gusto ko lang yung may makakain ako araw-araw,

gigising na kasama ang mga taong mahal ko,

makita ang paglitaw at paglubog ng araw,

maamoy ang malamig at preskong simoy ng hangin

gumawa ng tula at mga kanta,

at matulog ng mataimtim at tahimik.

ThE OnE wHO GoT AwAY

2004-12-21T17:02:00.000-08:00

In your life, you'll make note of a lot of people. Ones with whom you shared something special, ones who will always mean something. There's the one you first
kissed, the one you first loved, the one you lost your virginity to, the one you put on a pedestal, the one you're with...and the one that got away.

Who is the one that got away? I guess it's that person with who everything was great, everything was perfect, but the timing was just wrong. There was no fault in the person, there was no flaw in the chemistry, but the cards just didn't fall the right way, I suppose.

I believe in the fact that ending up with someone, finding a longtime partner that is, does not lie merely in the other person. I can actually argue that an equal part, or maybe even the greater part, has to do with the matter of timing. It has to do with you being ready to settle down and commit to someone in a way that goes beyond the little niceties of giddy romance.

How often have you gone through it without even realizing it? When you're not ready to commit in that mature manner, it doesn't matter who you're with, it just doesn't work. Small problems become big; inconsequentials become dealbreakers simply because you're not ready and it shows. It's not that you and the person you're with are no good; it's just that it's not yet right, ..... and little things become the flashpoint of that fact.

Then one day you're ready. You really are. And when this happens you'll be ready to settle down with someone. He or she may not be the most perfect, they might not be the brightest star of romance to ever have burned in your life, but it'll work because you're ready. It'll work because it's the right time and you'll make it work. And it'll make sense, it really will.

So that day comes when you're finally making sense of things, and you find yourself to be a different person. Things are different, your approach is different, you finally understand who you are and what you want, and you've become ready because the time has truly arrived. And mind you, there's no telling when this day will come. Hopefully you're single but you could be in a long-term relationship, you could be married with three kids, it doesn't matter. All you know is that you've changed, and for some reason, the one that got away, is the first person you think about.

You'll think about them because you'll wonder, "What if they were here today?" You'll wonder, "What if we were together now, with me as I am and not as I was?" That's what the one that got away is. The biggest "What if?" you'll have in your life.

If you're married, you'll just have to accept the fact that the one that got away, got away. Believe me, no matter how fairy tale you think your marriage is, this can happen to the best of us. But hopefully you're mature enough to realize that you're already with the one you're with and this is just another test of your commitment, one which will just strengthen your marriage when you get past it. Sure, you'll think about him/her every so often, but it's alright. It's never nice to live with a "might have been," but it happens. Maybe the one that got away is the one who's already married. In which case it's the same thing. You just have to accept and know that your memories of that person will probably bring a nice little smile to your lips in the future when you're old and gray and reminiscing.

But if neither of that is the case, then it's different. What do you do if it's not yet too late? Simple...find him, find her. Because the very existence of a "one that got away" means that you'll always wonder, what if you got that one?

Ask him out to coffee, ask her out to a movie, it doesn't matter if you've dropped in from out of nowhere. You'd be surprised, you just might be "the one that got away" as well for the person who is your "the one that got away." You might drop in from out of nowhere and it won't make a difference. If the timing is finally right,
it'll all just fall into place somehow and you know, I'm thinking, it would be a great feeling, in the end, to be able to say to someone, "Hey you, you're the one
that almost got away."

*** This was forwarded to me via e-mail.

AnD sOO thIS is ChRistMAs

2004-12-21T15:33:00.000-08:00

Dec. 22. Three days before christmas. But it doesn't seem like before. People are rushing to buy christmas gifts, kids are so excited for they know that they'll be gathering a handful of toys and probably money. But I'm not a kid anymore. I doubt if I'd ever get toys this christmas. Wish ko lang talaga.

I remember when I was a kid, I yearly asked my dad for a barbie doll. Yes, a barbie doll. A doll that all girls have, except me. The first time I asked for it, my dad brought home a humongous, japanese-talking, dancing doll named Linda . How could I ever forget the name when that doll caused me my sleepless nights, not to mention the bad dreams. The second time I asked for a barbie doll, my dad gave me a stupid, pink, baby doll which laughs when tilted up and cries when laid down! How stupid can it get!!! The next year was worst! He did not even get me a doll. Instead, he got me a red robot with pointed boobs, which apparently, i found out not to be boobs but actually hidden missiles. Hmm talk about me and my green mind. Yes, I was the girl version of boy bastos. The year after that, I got a very nice choooochoooo train. The year after that, a popeye game and watch and a pinball. Still, no barbie. Imagine? No barbie. Must be one of the reasons why I am not kikay like most other girls are. I never had the chance to comb barbie's hair, to dress barbie, to put make up on barbie.

Christmas is near. I also remember that every christmas, even when I was a small kid (believe me, I was small then), I find it so sad. Maybe its the christmas songs that keep me sad. Especially when they play.. pasko na sinta ko, hanap hanap kita . Maybe its the coldness of the christmas. Last year was the saddest of all christmasesases.

But you know what? I think, this year is gonna be a happy christmas for me. :-) Sana nga.

Of ChrIsTmaS ParTIes and HaTs

2004-12-09T21:09:00.000-08:00

Hmm...december. Christmas season. Dozens of christmas parties. One of which will be happening an hour and a half from now. Everybody's excited except me. Well, who wouldn't be excited if you know that you've got a pile of work plus a thesis to finish! Okay lang, keri lang. HP naman ako eh...

NEW WORD :

HP - Happy P*kpek.

Isa lang wish ko: SANA MANALO AKO LATER!!!!! Well, whether it be the raffle or the contest, I wish i would win. I was never lucky at raffles. Though I can be lucky at times when it comes to contests. Kapal kasi ng mukha ko eh.

Yeah, when I come to think of it. I never won a raffle in my entire life. I have tried the lotto. Kahit 3 number combination, I never won. Even in raffles wherein 10 na lang ang mga sumama and 9 yung prizes, ako yung maiiwan...talk about not so good luck.hehehe. I guess I am luckier over some things..

1. Family - I have such loving parents and siblings. I could not ask for more.

2. Friends - I have plenty of them. Kaya masaya. Kung true man o hindi, wala na akong pakelam. Basta I consider them my friends.

3. Career - Not overwhelming but I can say that I am a professional earning a decent amount of money. Para sa kin, decent na yun. Madali naman ako makuntento eh.

So you see, I guess I am lucky din naman eh. Di nga lang sa raffle. Oh, but I really want to win the 4.1 Megapixel Sony Camera and the Sofa Set.

By the way, here's my pix with my award-winning (to be) HAT. Hot ba?

Face value pa lang...tsk tsk tsk...talo na! hehehe...

I remember last year's party was the saddest party that I had in my entire life. I was so hollow then. But still, it wasn't obvious kasi blooming pa rin ako..Hehehe joke. Siguro magaling ako magtago. Though a very close friend of mine would see the sadness in my eyes. That was past. And am glad that I'd get to celebrate christmas again with friends and officemates.

Hmm.. I wonder..may makatalo kaya ng hat ko?

================================================

extra! extra!

---- nakakainis! may alumni homecoming meeting bukas!!! di tuloy ako makakasama sa EK..wawang bata..

---- namatay yung si ma'am M. Condolence sa family nya. Naku lagot, di ko alam ang procedures for extension of my thesis.

---- heller sa mga nagtyatyagang magbasa ng blog kong walang sense. hehehe.ano pa ba, eh its all about me.

---- my boo keeps playing on my mind...hang cute kasi!

LAtEsT NeWs kAy GorGEOuS

2004-12-08T15:43:00.000-08:00

Wooooohoooooowwww!!!! Long time no post!!! Hmm..I have been busy a couple of days..uhmm..no..weeks...uhmm...no...months!!!!!

For all my fans (hahaha as if!) here are some updates:

1. Weeks ago, a friend of mine, frootbroot, went to the Philippines for some business-related stuffs. I remember that was a thursday. My bestfriend can and I were driving along C5 when suddenly something hit the windshield of the car she's driving (which of course, im riding..this does make sense right?). Basically it was a pillbox. Tama ba ang spelling? Pasensya na kung mali. Good thing, the windshield was broken but was not shattered into pieces. We then went to the airport and picked up this friend of ours who happens to be lost!!!! His surname starts with a letter "W" and he was on the "ABC" counter!!! My gasss!!!! Hehehe...I still found him anyways.

2. Last week, just before the coming of Winnie and Yoyong, we were able to go to corregidor. I was able to take some pictures..see below.

ganda ng manila di ba?

me and can getting jiggy with the BIG GUN.

buti pa sila sweet....

3. I was so preoccupied by work, thesis and so many things. Work is piling up. My thesis is not moving. Maybe this weekend I can get to work on them.

4. Hay, right now my mind is kinda konting magulo. Dami kasing iniisip. But I know this shall pass. Right, gorgeous?

5. Oh, by the way, for the 2nd time, nanalo na naman akong 5S violator!!! Geesh!!! Ganun ba kagulo ang table ko? Eto lang naman sya...

Di naman di ba? hehehe...

6. Di ako makakasama sa EK party ng mga friends ko dito so office because I have an Alumni Homecoming meeting to attend. Huhuhu....

7. I wanna watch a movie. Drink coffee. Eat isaw. Eat cheesecake. Hay sana lang...

ToDaY I'D liKE tO....

2004-11-18T18:41:00.000-08:00

...Play and

... Drink 2 glasses of zombie or 4 bottles of vodka mudshake.

...Go bowling or play pingpong

...Eat chicharon

...Play with amiel

...Watch the sunset

...Stop thinking for 5 seconds

...Start working on my thesis proposal

...Feed the fish

...Play shaggidy-shapopo with my cubemates

...Go to the gym and work-out for an hour

...Email my dad

...Plan for the alumni homecoming

...Look for the new Samantha Chavez CD..(who da hell is Samantha!?!? hehehe)

SuRvIvInG d AluMni ENgIneErIng HoMeComing

2004-11-17T16:54:00.000-08:00

Hmm...such a while since I've last written in this blog. And who wouldn't afford such time when I don't even have the luxury of doing my thesis proposal!!?!?

For the past few days, I have been so busy doing work (as usual), work and work. Hmm..oops..I've watched The Incredibles pala and it was very nice and funny. I recommend it to everbody.

What made me busy the past few days?!? Boys?Hmm. Asa pa. Mas lalo akong tigang right now because of stress. School? I hardly had the time to write and review my proposal. Oh, now I know. Its the freaking ADXXXXX. Hay nako. Finding the failure mechanism and rootcause of that device is like finding out which came first, the egg or the chicken.

So I thought, maybe I need some unwinding. And there I was, on a late Saturday noon, dressed up in gorgeous clothes (actually they are not gorgeous, im just making this up..hehehe) and ready to rumble. I will be attending the Engineering Alumni Homecoming!!! Hurray!!! It's my first time and it was 5 years since I last graduated. Such a long time, huh!

I arrived Bahay ng Alumni at around 6 PM. Well, guess what?!? Puro thunder! Yes. What do you expect!?!? It's an alumni homecoming and most of the attendees are the old ones eager to know if their batchmates are still alive. Har har har. Fortunately, I get to see a few familiar faces: my thesis adviser, my dynamics teacher, my mechanics teacher, a few students, some batchmates and some older batches. I mean OLDER.

The event was kinda boring at first. I remember browsing my PC buyers guide out of boredom. The band was great. I was just wondering: How would I look like 20 years after? What will I be then? Will I still be alive? Married? Har har. PHD degree holder? Rich? I WISH! As they say, most people come to alumni homecomings just to showcase their good careers. Hmm. Have I already achieved what I want? I was actually joking my housemate, who happens to be my batchmate, that if she happens to be in the alumni homecoming, we would seem like Romy and Michelle in the movie "Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion". Hehehe.

The party was calmed down until they had a sing that tune game. Basically, you have to guess the song and when you get it right, you have to sing two lines before you can win a gift pack. Out of boredom (and probably with the persuasion I got from my tablemates), I joined the contest. And the rest is history. The song was actually I will survive . I was not able to sing the first line because I did not get the proper timing. So I started with..

to think that i can never live
without you by my side

And the person behind me instructed me to be creative and go down the stage. I decided to be more creative than what he suggested so I added a few dance steps.. Yebah! And before i ended the song, I found the crowd clapping their hands.
At the end of song, they gave me a box of coke in cans (24 pieces wowoweeee).

Hmm...sarap talagang maging bakla.

DramAhan na Naman ItO

2004-11-07T16:48:00.000-08:00

To the one who wrote this, I feel you. Di nga lang kita kilala. I find this over the internet and couldnt help but post it here.

Horrible, isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable.
It opens your chest and it opens your heart and
it means someone can get inside you and mess you
up.
You build up all these defenses. You build
up this whole armor, for years, so nothing can
hurt you, then one stupid person, no different
from any other stupid person, wanders into your
stupid life...
You give them a piece of you. They
don't ask for it. They do something dumb one day
like kiss you, or smile at you, and then your
life isn't your own anymore.
Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out
and leaves you crying in the darkness, so a
simple phrase like 'maybe we should just be
friends' or 'how very perceptive' turns into a
glass splinter working its way into your heart.

It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just
in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a body-hurt, a
real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain.
It's difficult and painful to love....and yet, many people
still prefer to hurt than not love at all. Count me as one of them...

ExPonEnTiaLLy FaLLinG fOr You

2004-10-26T22:38:00.000-07:00

Like Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle,
I do not know when and where
I actually started to have this feeling
All I know is that the moment
These eyes lay on you,
My heart said follow through

Like Newton's First law of Motion,
I was in a state of stable emotion
Until you came and exerted an external force
You conquered my heart,
And the next thing I knew,
I never wanted us to be apart

I cannot rationalize the deep emotions
Nor find the roots for this passion
My heart beats faster than the speed of light
I've been thinking of you day and night

My love for you is unending as the PI
I want to build my circumference around you
The attraction is so strong
You're like my electron
And I want to be your proton

I know that we've only just met
But you hit my heart like a comet
My feeling for you is an integration
Of longing, wanting and passion
I know I just met you
But I'm Exponentially Falling For You..

Can I be with you for infinity?

WisHInG ThAT

2004-10-25T01:12:00.000-07:00

just got this song from a friend...
senti senti muna..

When I held you, you would almost always hold me down
You could see through everything
I said I was falling and you said not to fall on you
I've bitten every finger 'til it bleed
Wishing that you loved me to
Wishing that you loved me to
Wishing that
When I kissed you, you would almost always kiss me back
but I could tell your mind was with someone else
Oh my hands are folded neatly on my lap
and I am picturing you r body as I ask myself
If you loved me to
Wishing that you loved me to
Wishing that
Listen to my nervous laughter
sunken deep inside my heart
my lips are dry, i'm teary eyed for you my love
Harken all you fallen angels, help me find a place to rest
my head is pounding here beneath the weight of this
I'm wishing that
And you know me, oh you know me more than anyone
When I hear your voice everything i've done dissapears from memory
Oh my darling come and save me,
tell me i'm the one your dreaming of
Tell me that you love me to
Wishing that you loved me to
Wishing that you loved me to
Wishing that you loved me to
Wishing that
You loved me to
Wishing that, i'm wishing that, wishing that
You loved me to

TuRnInG JaPAnESe

2004-10-24T17:36:00.000-07:00

Well, believe it or not, it's me in my very own version of sadako (from the movie THE RING)..I showed this to our japanese counterpart and he was surprised and amazed by this photo. He said it was almost real.. Hmm.. was that good or bad?!?

Speaking of japanese, last week, our japanese counterpart went here for an audit. Yahoo time again for me because is he is my favorite japanese counterpart. Aside from being an F4 look-alike, he is really very nice and outgoing. And most of all, he brings me astroboy stuffs and furikake! hehehe

Well, we took this jap friend of ours to the Shangri-la Streetscape for some round of drinks, live band music and street dancing. Yes, STREET DANCING. Something that I usually don't do kahit makapal ang mukha ko. I am with 7 other friends, most of which are my officemates as well.

Sa bus pa lang, I feel like my minds gonna explode. Not because of his sex appeal, but because I find it hard to comprehend him. Syempre yung isa kong kasama namamalipit sa likod sa kakatawa. Jap guy is really good looking but I really find it hard to understand him. He pauses a lot, siguro thinking of an english word to describe his feeling. Para nga syang naiire eh. Much as I want to listen, my mind can't handle it. Dinugo talaga ako sa kanya, leche sya! Joke.

The band was cool, they played mostly Bee Gees, which is good. At least our guest can relate to their music. At first, the jap friend was kinda timid and shy, he said that he doesn't dance. But whooooaa, wait till the first funky music played. He made his first dance by slightly nodding his head and slightly grooving to the music. Yeah, he doesn't like to dance pero nung bandang gitna HUMAHATAW NA SYA..take note.. he is still sitted then.

Realizing that this jap guy wanted to dance, my folks persuaded me to take the first move and dance with him. It could have been easier if I lived somewhere else. But not in Shangri-La!!! Our house is very close to that place and I would often stay there whenever I'm bored. During that time, there were around 10 people dancing at the dance floor. Yup, they were plenty. But the people watching them are over 500!!! So there are live 50 eyes looking at each person!

Before I agreed to take the first move, I tagged my officemates with me. So it was actually the 5 of us who went to the dance floor. We could have been anonymous if not for this jap guy who danced like a robot...wahehehe..yup, he danced like a robot. It was really funny and fun as well. That is why he probably caught the attention of those who are just watching us dance. Bigay na bigay sya. I can even see him concentrate, and look at other people dancing while he tries to imitate how they danced. Imagine, may patingin-tingin pa sya sa sky! By golly! And he has this dance step which looks like the dance steps of hagibis. I wonder how he figured that out. Hmm...Award talaga ang mga Da Moves nya.

We were all tired and we got home late. But surely, we enjoyed the party. The jap guy enjoyed so much that he wanted to go to the party the next night! Sorry to say, we were all exhausted and nobody has sufficient energy to go..hehehe

ThInGs and PeOple thAT i MisS

2004-10-19T18:31:00.000-07:00

1. I miss having ciesta every 2 pm in the afternoon. My earliest memories of childhood traces back to the times when my Mom and Dad would force me to sleep during the noon. My dad would spank me if he sees me awake so I have to fake sleeping. hehehe.

2. I miss eating fish balls, ice crumble, dirty ice cream, junk foods

3. I miss playing hide and seek, langit-lupa-impyerno, im, im, impyerno..patay o buhay...alesssss, i miss playing pepsi-7 up.

4. I miss drinking bearbrand milk.

5. I miss watching shaider and bioman.

6. I miss walking in our village every afternoon and eating isaw.

7. I miss playing basketball and badminton with my brothers.

8. I miss joining contests in the radio and reaping lots and lots of prizes

9. I miss hanging out with my barkadings, eye, bokyo, lenne, pipaps, raki, vaneknek, cheryll and haidee mina..I remember most of the bloopers were very funny. Like one time, during an ES1 (technical drawing) class, haidee mina and raki were scribbling something at the blackboard when their crush, our student assistant, Pep came in. Raki noticed Pep coming in so she took her seat. But then, Haidee Mina, being the insensitive person that she is, did not notice Pep and so she continued scribbling Peps name with a flower beside it. When she turned her back, she saw Pep staring at her. Hehehe. Then she just took her seat as if nothing happened..

10. I miss the sagada trip with the fab transfer people. I must admit, I am like the adopted member of the group. These guys are one of the nicest!

11. I miss those bloopers with macel and eye. We are the tres marias. I remember when macel called our boss (unfortunately, he has resigned na, siguro because of macel..hehehe) and got a voice mail. During that time, Macel was in an offshore training in the US and she asked Jeff to connect for her. Jeff did not notice that he had left the phone hanging and so macels conversations with jeff were recorded onto our boss' voice mail. Hehehe..

12. I miss shaggidy shapopo. I miss the way strong hands would try to follow any funny move. Other cubes must have envied us. Hehehe

13. I miss bonnakiks. My little sister in FA. Si kulotski. I miss bullying her and her bullying me.

14. I miss Doc Mena and the way he handles RCSC. Hehehe. I might get fired for this.

15. I miss jogging in UP with can..

16. I miss going to starbucks with Macel and going to movies/gigs with pau and anne

17. I miss teaching my students in UP.

18. I miss going to Daniw.

19. I miss the burlington mall. I miss MA. I miss matt pilotte. Hahaha. Issue to!!! I miss seeing the old version of britney spears in ADWil. Hehehe. I miss my friends in ADWil, Young, Syed, Kentot, and the cute alp guys. naks!

20. I miss ichi, ngayon pa lang! hehehe.. He gave me an antique ASTROBOY figure. Yahoo!! panalo!

21. I miss Ma'am Gev and the way she would make people nervous when she walks through the door.

22. I miss the way eye would sing "I will be here", pau "You", and of course, the best song ever, song #2!!!!

23. I miss the spice girls

24. I miss Doogie Howser MD.

25. I miss former instructors: Louie Alarcon..Hehehe ampuge na nya!!!, Grace Gabriel..ang babaeng wala na nga puso wala pang **so..hehehe..

Hay, it's really fun reminiscing those times. Time is running fast. Before I know it, I'm already too old to enjoy life. So Ill just make most of every thing that I have, of the time i spend with every people i know.

Drama!

DifFerenT faCes of GoRgeOus

2004-10-18T18:25:00.000-07:00

Hmmm...i don't know how to describe my self. Maybe you can see my friendster testimonials..I am a person who loves music as much as my life. It has always been an expression of my feelings and my deep emotions, my happiness and my frustrations.

Many people say I'm the life and CLOWN of the party. Maybe because I am carefree and childlike sometimes. Yup, I can go horseplaying and dancing along the hallways without care of who is with me or whatever they would think of me..Pake nyo!!! hehehe..I am best paired with my friends Can, the Cube Five members and my barkadings. Speaking of barkadings, these are my college friends whom I rarely see nowadays except for Eye. Hmm...I miss them already.

Basically, I am like the color black. I can go blend with any color...that is, with any people. I have no difficulties of dealing with people (except a former officemate who is still in this company but has transferred to another group..starts with a letter...J..hehehe). Though I am not sure if other people are uncomfy with me. Yes, I am a Loud person. Real loud. Imagine me talking at the elevator on the first floor and you can still hear me even if you are at the basement. I don't think I am that intimidating if you get to know me.

Like the picture above, I have different personalities. Sometimes I can be moody. Tao lang ako no!!! And when I am in bad mood, i would suggest that you maintain a 5-meter distance! Hehehe...but the good thing about me is that I don't hold the bad mood for long. Only for a day..hehehe..How to spot if I'm in a bad mood? When I don't talk.

Most of the times, I am playful. A big practical joker. But it doesn't mean that you can't talk hear-to-heart with me. I can listen for hours, a shoulder to cry on. But sorry, you can't expect me to say all the nice things you want to hear. I am more of a "reality checker". I can be so pessimistic sometimes. You can ask my friend Eye. She would always get mad when I whine. Hehehe.

Enough of me. Next time I'll tell more about my friends..hehehe

To SAgAdA aNd BacK

2004-10-14T04:21:00.000-07:00

Yes, believe it or not..IT'S REAL!!! This shot was taken last April when I, together with the rest of the Fab Transfer Group, went to Sagada. From what I have read, the Banawe Rice Terraces is indeed a world wonder because it was handmade by the ifugao ancestors.

Of course I'd like to have my picture with the Banawe Rice Terraces at my background...Just yesterday, a friend of mine, frootbroot told me that Banawe Rice Terraces is in his list of 100 places to visit before he die. I can understand that...Banawe is really a very wonderful place...

Banawe Rice Terraces taken from the top....

The stairs leading to the underground cave of Sagada. With my fear of heights, I know that I would definitely not survive this if my bestfriend Can wasn't there. Ironically, she was the one leading me though I'm definitely bigger and taller than her.

The ancestral coffins..gives me the shiver...

Pretty obvious that they are all looking and laughing at me because I cannot move sideways. The rock I'm sitting on is very slippery and anytime I could plunge into the shallow water. That's what you get when you don't want your feet to get wet. Hehehe...

If there is one unforgettable experience, I guess it would be going to Sagada. Not only for the adventure but for the friendships that I gained afterwards...

CuBE NumBEr fiVe

2004-10-13T18:21:00.000-07:00

Perhaps the happiest place to be in the ADGT office area is cube number 5. Hey, that's our cube!!! And why wont it be the happiest and coolest place when it has the coolest people! Every morning is a morning to look forward. I think we are the only cube who plays "shaggidy shapopo" before we go to our daily routine.
These six gorgeous people came together last december 2002 when the 2nd phase of ADGT was constructed. It wasn't that difficult to mingle with my five cubemates as they had been my previous schoolmates. Wanna get to know them more? read on..

the eye:
Man, she's really the eye of the group. You should have seen her photo blog and be amazed at how this girl makes the most out of the simplest things. My friend for almost ten years (a friend of hers since first year college), I can say that Eye knows me pretty well. I learned all my bullying skills from this "small but terrible" girl. Many men are intimidated by her very strong personality. But mind you, this girl might be tough outside but still a softee inside. I really can't help but smile whenever I hear her own version of "i will be here". She's talented. No, she's multi-talented! Very good in sports as well. My pingpong playmate and the badminton champion. They used to say that Eye, the Model and Me are the 3 Marias. Hehehe. We wish! She's out of the country right now and so this cube feels incomplete without her.

strong hands
The muscle man..mr. strong hands. Very tough. Very rugged. Very manly. Very... Oopps...his girlfriend Hehe (who happens to be a cubemate as well) might get mad at me. Mind you, before the Hehe and Strong Hands love team, there was the Gorgeous and Strong Hands duo! Yichi!!!! Bringing back the past.. just kidding..
Amongst all of my cubemates, strong hands is the youngest but he is also the most serious and silent member of our group.

the model mr. yosa
What can i say, she's a supermodel and a superhero rolled into one ..yes, she is volta! hehehe peace girl!!! This girl is my dear housemate, classmate, labmate, teammate, checkmate,papermate, kilometrico, what else.. ? Just don't even try to touch her knees or you'll end up being kicked. Yes, she has this very sensitive tickle spot in the knee. One time we all held her and tickled her till she got red. Oh, and before I forget, this girl is so afraid of rats the same way I'm so afraid of roaches. I remember when we were new in this company, an officemate put a toy rat on top of her table. She squeeked like a rat when she saw that toy!!! hehehe Gotcha!
We've got a lot of common things between us, like our common liking for Angelina Jolie, for dark chocolates, etc. For that, she is like my soul sista go sista soul sista!!!

the teeth
Mr. trivia. Mr. good smile and big teeth. Hehehe. The John Lloyd our cube number 5. And the favorite of you-know-who. I love it when says his favorite line from the movie "Romy and Michelle":

"No, you're the Rhoooda and I'mmm the Maaarrrrrryyyy...."

We used to sarcastically call him the rabbit. Why? Because he seems too slow. Too slow to talk, to type something using the keyboard, to walk..but mind you, this guy is a fast thinker!!! Naks! One time I taught him how to rap the song from Bone thugs N Harmony. I asked him to rap a few lines from the song Crossroads. Gosh, it seemed like a mellow song when he rapped Crossroads!!!

hehe girl
yes...the girl.. but do you know how she got that name? hehehe..just ask me in private because hehe might get mad at me. She is the loving partner of strong hands and also the favorite member of the group. Being the "cutest" and "smallest" member of the group, Hehe is the favorite when it comes to teasing and joking.

the gorgeous
The name describes itself. Hehehe.

the mother
Yes, the cube number five has a mother figure. Unfortunately, she has her office at the fourth cube. Well, she's like a member of the cube number five group anyways.

WeDneSDaY anD i'M BuSY

2004-10-12T18:08:00.001-07:00

Just this morning I have received various emails from different customers and contact persons from other sites. I have this 22057 CMRR issue that is still open. Unfortunately, the ESD diodes were found to be ok. Hmm..I guess I'll have to ask Karl to probe the resistors as well. Geesh...
Aside from that, I have a very hot issue with the 8314. I just couldnt imagine probing a CSP package. In addition to that, mounting the decapsulated part on an eval board!! WhooooAAA! I guess i will have to use my black magic!
harharhar..
Sony is coming over the lab today with a bunch of japanese people. I wonder how i would probably greet them..

Konnichiwa...(then bows my head)...

And by the way, Ichikawa will be there as well..hmm..i hope he brings me a bag of Furikake! ehehehe..
I know life will always be busy. Like a good friend Syed would tell me, "More work is good work " . So I guess I have to be more positive. I know all of these issues will come to an end. I just don't know when..hehehe..
I miss my friend eye who is now in ADLim. Eye!!!! Uwi ka na dito dali na!!!
And my cubemates..they are deadma ever! hahaha..Look at Hehe, she is busy with her pc, pau is trying to play "sipa" and so is macel. And I, doing this blog just before I go to the lab and make some magic.
Despite the piles of work, I am still happy because tonight we will have another team building activity. We will play SIPA. Of course, as expected, I will definitely lose! I am not meant to be the player anyways, I am meant to be the MUSE .

FeAR FaCToR

2004-10-11T18:36:00.000-07:00

" Those who fear nothing, love nothing "

I remember this line from the movie First Knight . If this is true then I must have loved so much! Mwahahaha....But no, my fear is not just fear of losing someone or something. There are many things that I am afraid of. Hmm..
Let me see..

1. I fear heights. I remember how my eyes would pop out when I rode the Log Jam at Enchanted Kingdom. I first took the ride Anchors Away seven years ago. It's this gigantic boat which swings almost perpendicular to the ground. I remember how my friend would say " Look up in the sky", whooooAAAA!!!! I could almost throw up. Then another friend would say "No, the best way is to look down"..and there I would see how high from the ground I am. My knees were trembling though I am sitted. I couldn't utter any word. I was so scared. I think all the blood have rushed to my head. Seven years after, my bestfriend Can had asked me to ride it with her (she loves to torture me, mind you), as a welcome gift when she got back from a training in US. This time I rode the Anchors Away again, but now, I'm no longer at the far end of the boat. I am now sitted at the middle. So the pressure would be less. But still, I felt the tickling sensation in my tummy. I've finally let my fear out by crying out loud. Yeah baby, you won't believe how I cried out just to release the tension inside. What a funny experience. I will probably have a ride on the Anchors Away after seven years again!

2. I fear big bodies of water . The big reason for this is that I don't know how to swim. But then, I can't learn to swim because I'm afraid of the waters. Sounds like the question of the chicken and the egg!!! This is one fear I'd like to conquer before I die.

3. I fear cockroaches and other creeping insects . Just the thought of creeping things scare me. I remember shouting at the wash room one time when I saw a cockroach flying over me!!! I would rather touch a snake that touch a live bug.

4. I fear death . I fear death because I know that I am not ready yet. I know that I have not been a very good girl, spiritually. I think that if I die today, I would be burned to hell. So, I guess I have to go to the church more often and confess regularly.

5. I am afraid of rejection . Maybe this is one thing why I don't usually ask somebody (i mean a friend) out for lunch or dinner. I fear rejection.

6. I fear losing the ones that I love . Yeah, I must believe King Arthur when he told Lancelot that when you dont fear anything, you dont love. My life has been somewhat dependent on these people. People need people. And I need them.

7. I fear ghosts . Who wouldnt anyway?!?

Ikaw, What do you fear?

ToO ShY

2004-10-07T23:31:00.000-07:00

Too shy to speak
Too shy to stare
Too shy to ask you out
To shy to show I care
Too shy to phone you
Too shy to talk
Too shy to smile
Too shy to look in your eyes
For I know you'd see
The secret love I feel inside me
So afraid to try
So afraid...

...that you would say goodbye.

AbOminAble SnOWmaN

2004-10-06T22:36:00.000-07:00

From Merriam Webster

Main Entry: abominable snow·man
Pronunciation: -'snO-m&n, -"man
Function: noun
Usage: often capitalized A&S
: a mysterious creature with human or apelike characteristics reported to exist in the high Himalayas -- called also yeti

Hmm..after all those definitions, do you think my bestfriend, can's picture of an abominable snowman still describes one?!? The first time I saw the picture of her homemade snowman, i thought it was just a volcano with two trees on the side. Maybe there has been an eruption which swept all other trees, leaving only two trees?!? Makes sense...if the setting were in a beach where most people would cast out castles, mountains and volcanoes out of sand and water. But no, this is snow, mare!!! And what then is the purpose of the sunglasses? Ah ok, it might be a snowman.

Hmm...just wondering what would happen if I put an outline ...

There you go..

This photo, by the way, is take from another view, minus the sunglasses. Now, it looks more like the ghosts from the game Pac man .

Well, to her, it is still a masterpiece. So to you, Can, congratulations on your first snowman/volcano with 2 trees/ghost from pac man.

amIeL AmIEL aMiel

2004-10-06T18:57:00.000-07:00

Birthday: April 15 2004
Zodiac Sign: Taurus

This shot was taken a few days after we brought him home. Now, we have better reasons of staying home and going home early. He is like a baby to us and we have become instant mothers (though, of course, i dont breastfeed him! ano sya maswerte?!?). I must admit, life has been different since this puppy came into our lives. He has been my dog toy and I, his chewbone..err...a cushion would probably be more appropriate. Yup, he loves biting my fingers. Just last week he lost a tooth while biting me. I guess we are MFEO (meant for each other). He is sadistic and I am masochistic. Hahaha. Amiel is turning 6 months on October 15 and I am so glad that we have been together for 3 months already! I look forward to more joggings round the Sunken Garden with him and more pillow fights as well(it's a good thing he doesn't grow that big, which makes it more advantageous for me..can't imagine bullfighting with a rottweiler!)

oF ChiNEse GarterS and LiMbO-ROcK

2004-10-06T05:22:00.000-07:00

I just got back, tired from playing two games in a row: chinese garters and Limbo-rock. To deviate from the usual sportsfest, the organizers of the fun activities have decided to hold fun games instead of sports; in this way, everybody will have the chance of winning.

It was so frustrating that with a height of 5'6.5, I cannot even reach and jump over a garter of height 3 feet!!! Was I that lame?!? Nyok nyok nyok...I have always been teased of being "lampa" (though not payatot)....i wonder why?!? Is it because I am flat-footed? Or maybe because I am really not into physical challenges...

Physical Education has been my waterloo. I remember acing a few major subjects but could not even pass the weight lifting subject that I enrolled for. That was supposed to be my last PE subject. I remember I almost farted out while excerting too much force just to make it to my 3rd lift. Who wouldn't have the trouble of lifting then when I was around 165 lbs and I have to carry at least 1/2 of my weight! My eyes would almost pop out before I can even get to my third lift. Yes, i just have to lift the weight 3 times and I will pass the subject. But no, that was the only time when I found it hard to count till 3! And the irony of all, my friend, who is just above 5 feet tall, was able to manage 30 lifts (of course, of her proportional weight) and got the highest grade for the subject. I must admit, I am a loser when it comes to sports. Well, basically not all sports. Recently I am getting good over pingpong. When all people are praying to pass their major exams, I am desperately praying to pass my PE subject.

What has that got to do with the games that I played earlier? Simple. I am really not a sports buff. I might really be "lampa". Admit it, we can't have everything in the world. I'm smart, gorgeous and sexy already. Not to mention sweet, loving and kind. What else can I ask for? Now i understand why God made me "lampa"..

GiRL VeRSiOn nI BoY BAsTOs

2004-10-06T04:08:00.000-07:00

Well, nothing too much to tell about my childhood. I grew up a lucky kid since I was raised by my loving parents in a very loving way. Memories? Well, I have this memory of falling down the stairs sa kakulitan ko. Yes, bata pa lang ako, makulit na. I think may ADHD ata ako nung bata ako eh.
Nung maliliit pa kami mahilig kami gawan ng voice tapes ng parents namin. Bata pa lang ako bastos na. Yup, nasa blood ko ang pagiging bastos. Pero maginoo naman.. hehe. Isang favorite kong part ng tape ay ito:

Ako : Lolo, merong dalawang magkaibigan, si kikong maliit at si kikong malaki, nanghiram ng sinelas si kiko maliit sa kanyang kaibigan. Nasaan na yung sinelas?
LOLO: Eh di ke kikong malaki
Ako: Ahhh K*k* mong malaki!!!! wahahaha

Ganyan ako kakulit ng bata ako. At di lang yan, makapal pa ang muka ko sa gulong. One time during a party nagrequest ng song yung host. Guess what? Nagprisinta pa talaga ako. And I sang "sinasamba kita".

During my kindergarten years, mahilig din akong mangulit ng kapwa ko bata. There was this boy Billy Joe, may hairlip sya. Sa kakulitan ko, I shouted "billie joe ngongo!" and he tore my paper. Out of my anger, I hit him in the face. And there goes my first visit to the principals office. Di naman ako ganyan kakulit. I think normal lang naman na makulit ang mga kids, right? Kaya nga mahilig ako sa kids eh.

I first cheated when I was in grade 3. No, i don't usually cheat. That's because I am a good girl who studies promptly. Kaso bumagsak ako sa isang exam. My grade was like 74 or something (eh di ba bagsak na tong grade na to dati pa). So what i did was this: During the time na dinidictate na ng teacher yung answers to the questions, i erase my answers then replace them with the correct ones. Ang kaso, after the corrections, my grade went up to 95!!! Hehehe.. di ko pa pinerfect no? Syempre, na-obvious ako ng teacher. Kaya ayun napagalitan ako.

From grade 5 to present, meron akong naging kaisa-isang best friend. Si Odette. I remember how our barkadas would envy our friendship to the point na ayaw nila kami makita magkasama. In order to give them what they want, we dont communicate in school but we talk on the phone and sometimes throw papers to each other.

High school. Well, the only think i remember during high school ay nung naiputan ako ng ibon while doing the Lupang Hinirang. Another thing is nung nalaglagan ako ng bakal at natapyas yung buong manggas ng long sleeves kong uniform.

Hello World

2004-10-04T01:05:00.000-07:00

September 26. 12:01 AM. The first time i came out of my mother's womb to face the challenges of the world. Funny pero kung nauna sigurong umiri ang nanay ko ng mga 2 minutes, my birthday would have been on the 25th of September and my fate would have been entirely different..maybe. My first acquaintances were the nurses and doctors of the Children's Medical Center. I was naked. It was dark at first but finally i saw the light just as this nurse tapped me by my buttocks. And there was I...crying my first tears out...

I was named after a religious icon. My mom is a devout catholic and would always go to Quiapo to pray and give offerings. My father is also as religious as my mother.

Pinaglihi daw ako sa santol. That explains why maasim ang itsura ko. Hehehe. But most people think na pinaglihi ako sa balut. Kasi balbon ako..oh yes, you should see those hairs...hehehe.

During my first few months, I had a problem with my head. Opo, bata pa lang siraulo na ako. Well, I had a sickness called hemadioma (i hope im spelling it right). Basically, may mga excess veins ako sa ulo which needs to be removed, otherwise, lalaki yung bukol sa ulo ko at magmumuka akong watermelon.At a very very young age, I was subjected to a minor operation. Actually, sinunog lang naman ng doctor yung ulo ko with a dry ice. With God's guidance, I was able to survive. Dapat lang no, may mission pa kaya ang angel na to!That's me when I was a baby..cute no? ahehehe